Years ago, I reached pro status as a second-guesser. And not just of myself. I instinctively second-guess everyone and ev-er-y-thing!
I’ve spent my lifetime perfecting this habit. In hindsight, I can honestly say it has not served me well. Instead, it’s been a huge waste of precious time. But it’s what I know and how I’ve always functioned.
It isn’t difficult for me to realize my constant self-criticism is the consequence of deep-seated low self-esteem and shame. Traumatic abuse (there’s really no other kind) cuts deep and leaves gnarly scars.
Thankfully, scars can diminish if treated. An hour spent talking with a therapist is infinitely more beneficial than trying to push through on sheer will-power. We aren’t meant to go it alone.
Seeking help from others demonstrates we’re strong enough to recognize things can be better. We realize we don’t have the answers because no one can possibly have all the answers.
I’m an expert on a few subjects and a complete novice on countless others. Thank goodness there are qualified people out there committed to providing thoughtful guidance and support when it’s needed.
We’re all branches attached to a tree. Some trees and their branches may provide us shade and protection. While others may crowd our space and take our resources.
It’s the branches on our tree that we need to tend. Nourishing and pruning profoundly enriches our life and the lives of the trees in our forest. A bit metaphorical, I know, but stick with me here.
Acknowledging struggle is the first step. Reaching out is the second. All the steps that follow will come one at a time. But we have to start because being caught in a spiral of pain and misery is not a punishment we deserve.
We are worthy of happiness. Even when we feel worthless, our spirit wants us to remember our value.
Sometimes it’s really easy to love ourselves. But not always. Sometimes the self-loathing is like a choke-hold. It grips tight to us, physically and mentally.
When that happens, we can breathe. Slowly feeling the air enter our body and leave under our control. That’s how acknowledgement is able to happen. And then we can take that second step.
I promise, there are people willing, able, and ready to lift you up.
Seek them out. Now. It’s okay.
And do all you can to second-guess your choices and yourself a little less every day. It will make room for the self-love your soul desires so that healing happens.
