This journey of parenting a special-needs child has stretched me in ways I could not have imagined. In the last couple of years in particular, I have learned more about mental health challenges, the educational system, and social dynamics than I ever had before and let me tell ya, it’s all frightening.
People and systems are faulty. Some malicious, some ignorant. It’s a never-ending, ongoing daily effort to seek out truth, implement strategies, and hope for the best. Often settling for non-catastrophic is reason to celebrate.
Where would we be without support. Granted, it’s not as though we have a big social network, or even a little one. I’ve used the excuse of moving across the country as why we haven’t made new friends. The truth is, it’s hard. Even without all the added stuff going on providing for the intense needs of our daughter, any down time is happily spent relaxing in our home with no pressure from others.
I’m not discounting the need for friends. It would be helpful to model this for our kid. I just don’t have the energy. I find most people are draining and don’t understand what we’re going through nor do they want to.
We are beyond fortunate to have a set of parents/grandparents on our side. They may not fully get all the struggles we face, but they are undeniably there with unwavering support, encouragement, and love.
I didn’t expect to have to need others in the way our family does. It’s been a pretty big learning curve. And we’re only a few years into it. We have a long way to go.
As I navigate the scary terrain of researching and attempting to understand bipolar disorder in children, I come across some things that really hit home. I feel so guilty for any contribution I make to my daughter’s suffering. I’m trying hard not to blame myself for her mental health challenges. All the while, doing everything I can to learn, grow, and do better for her every day.
“Because these children are so proud and often manage to keep it together in the outside world, people don’t believe that this charming child can turn so quickly in the home environment, and they are apt to jump to the conclusion that the child is manipulative, or that the mother is igniting the problem, thus placing a double burden on the already-abused mother.”
My daughter does display severe symptoms around other people, particularly teachers and others in authority attempting to direct her actions. Other parents of special needs children can be dismissive, especially if their child has more outwardly obvious issues. Parents of neuro-typical kids are shocked by her behavior and make harsh, unfair judgments.
It’s tough when family members blame my parenting style. This happens a lot. I’m far from perfect and I make lots of mistakes. But I am devoted with a full commitment to help her and our family.
Until a mile is walked on someone else’s journey, no one can fairly judge nor should they. Most parents are doing the best they can, myself included.
We still don’t have a diagnosis. All this research may be off course a bit, but the knowledge I’m gaining is empowering me to ask more questions, to find more answers. That’s the best I can do.
just don't expect a fairly tale.
